Tonight, I scared myself. I lost my temper in a major way.

I was/am enraged. Yelling myself hoarse. Vindictive.

I was mad. In all senses of the word.

All the frustration, hurt, isolation, fatigue....All the disappointment, the indifference...the loss of self.

All that pain. All at once. Like a volcano erupting. A swirling, roiling, inexplicably hot caldera of everything that has gone wrong.

And now...nothing. 

I am no longer who I was. That guy is finally dead.