Lord, please give Your Strength to those that need it...

Haiti Earthquake, originally uploaded by dailyskiff.

http://lens.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/14/pictures-138/

I've been finding myself constantly watching the coverage of what's going on in Haiti. I'm on the web looking at articles and images of the devastation. I find myself captivated by the accounts of the ongoing suffering and sorrow. I rejoice when they actually find people underneath the rubble. I found myself crying at the sight of a father weeping for his child.

I've done this before. 9/11, the Tsunami in Thailand, Typhoons in the Philippines...Disasters and suffering.

It's sad, but it puts things into perspective for me. Suddenly, things aren't so bad. Fine, I have a job that isn't exactly saving the world, but I'm good at it. Sometimes it seems as if it is lacking in the luster it first had, but I'm doing what I love. In the city that I love. Haiti has been decimated. I should be flogged for complaining.

So I'm not financially stable. I do have a roof over my head and food on the table. My dog and cat eat well. I have running water at my beck and call. I control electrons with the flick of a switch to power my toys. I carry around a dSLR worth more than a year's worth of pay for some of the Haitians. Hit me with a brick if I complain.

My Family (the one I was born into) is fractured. We're not close anymore. Painful in and of itself, but more so when the causes can be traced to decisions/actions I made. My father and I don't speak, but at least he isn't crushed under a pile of concrete. My Sister, while her apartment is a slum with no heat/hot water, she at least has a roof over her head and doesn't sleep in fear of being crushed in her sleep. I know where they are, they know where I am. There's no wondering if they're still alive...if they're in pain...

The Family (the one I chose) is at least all together. So what if I haven't had sex with the Woman in a year. So what if the Boy is autistic. They're here with me...alive and healthy. They are here in the morning to yell at me to wake up, to tell me to bring the vacuum up/downstairs, to remind me to take out the garbage....I don't know if I could bring myself to a mass grave site to try and sift through the piles of victims looking for my child. I just don't have the stones.

Something in me wants to help. We all do...but I want to DO something other than write a check... I want boots on the ground...digging out. I have no skills in this area. I'd probably be a hindrance. But texting to donate 10 bucks just seems like a way for people to help without it having to interfere with their lives. Shit, these people lost everything...you can put down your 12 dollar latte, pick up your 200 dollar iPhone loaded with every App from the AppStore, and text.

I'm stricken with grief for Haiti. I pray She stays strong.

My little craptastic piece of the world has become more precious. Yours should too.